


The moment

by LGITB



Category: Saving Hope (TV)
Genre: Airports, F/F, Feelings Realization, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-08 03:09:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21228788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LGITB/pseuds/LGITB
Summary: I absolutely love this pairing. I wish they had more on screen moments.This is just a (small) collection of thoughts and feelings some scenes got me to jot down.





	1. Urge me not to leave you

It was almost a wonder to her, how quickly emotions can change.

From hope and excitement over the new bed she suggested Sydney buy, to bitter disappointment -resentment even- over Sydney's future departure to London, to giddiness and I-can't-believe-this-is-happening and her jump-in-head-first agreement to moving with her to London.

And now, an even more extreme of a change. A feeling of desperation that started brewing in the pit of her stomach as she was sitting in her office, holding a letter she dared not read. A dark feeling that spread around her body, despite Alex's confidence. Her "one", her person, was leaving.

Standing in front of the departures board she was gutted to see that flight JN823 to London had departed.

Maggie closed her eyes. She couldn't even start processing what she was feeling. Utter sadness, desperation. Now what? She sighed softly, trying to stop the tears she felt rising.

"Hey stranger" a so recognized voice rocked her world. She always rocks her world. Maggie turned to Sydney, mouth agape in utter shock.  
"I thought you left" she stated the obvious, shocked beyond words. Sydney just smiled at her, and hope sprung up. She didn't board the flight, maybe she was regretting how things turned out just as bad as Maggie was?  
"I'm so glad you came" Maggie laughed softly, and her feelings suddenly became crystal clear. Sydney wanted her just as much. She was regretting her things turned out just as much as Maggie did. Maybe more, she was standing there and not sitting on a transcontinental flight.

This was it, Maggie realized. It was one of those turning moments in life. This was IT, she just couldn't see herself turning her life upside for anyone else but Sydney. It was her, not from the first moment, but not long after. All those hours together seeing each other at their worst. Slowly opening up. Not falling into doctor romance cliches, hiding random sexual encounters in empty rooms (god knows she had enough of those).

"I was sitting in that office, and it was everything I had worked for". And it was. "And all I could think about was you", she was bewildered once again when she described her moment of clarity back on the office floor. Sydney gave a small laugh, which Maggie understood for exactly what it was. How dumb they both were.  
"I love you" came out, and she knew they were on the path to a really, just really good place together. "And I'd give everything up to be with you". It was the plain, honest, wonderful truth. She faced the alternative when she took those office keys from Charlie, but she knew where she was now. Exactly where and with the person she wanted to be.

Maggie realized something. She was living one of those rare moments in life, where everything she wanted, the one person she desired above all - physically, emotionally, mentally - was there, inside her sphere, sharing those exact same feelings. It was an uphill battle, and they were both now on the same top, sharing the same air, breathing happiness into each other. Rare. So rare.

And as Sydney translated the book of Ruth to her, she listened, letting the moment wash over her. She closed her eyes, wanting to be fully immersed in the moment, in Sydney.

She finally found her one.


	2. You look lovely today in those scrubs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All glorious is the king's daughter within" - Psalms, 45.

For the first couple of years Maggie interned under Sydney, the orthodox doctor kept all modesty laws as closely as she could. Elbows covered, knees covered, all of her covered really. Even with the more revealing scrubs, Sydney made sure to wear a long sleeved shirt underneath, only granting herself permission to use pants - and only on duty. Whenever she was off duty, Sydney made sure to wear a long skirt, modesty and dignity intact.

Maggie didn't really give it any more thought, never realized how much of Sydney's body was covered, till after Sydney suddenly kissed her. Maggie reacted instinctively, placing her palm on Sydney's face - melting into the too short kiss and soft lips and skin she felt underneath her own lips and fingers. 

From that moment on, she didn't pay attention to how much of Sydney's body was covered. She noticed what was _uncovered_.__

Her neck, her palms... and that was enough. Curious, Maggie googled modesty laws, _Tzniut_. "All glorious is the king's daughter within" was the original line from Psalms 45, and throughout the years it was expended to cover anything from dress, touch, dancing, singing... all forbidden, as to not tempt the wise students, _yeshiva_ boys, toiling over the work of god. Taking it further, she read about how throughout the years the laws became less and less lenient, and how in some ultra orthodox communities in Jerusalem, the women wear something not unlike a burka, where only their eyes are exposed. Maggie didn't understand it at first, but then, with the explanation she read still firmly on her mind, she saw Sydney leaning against a nurses station, reading a chart and absentmindedly rubbing her neck.

Her exposed, pearly white neck.

Maggie's heart rate fluttered, and a firm, familiar knot grabbed a hold of her stomach, and further down. She couldn't stop looking at Sydney's exposed flesh.

"Dr. Lin?" a voice snapped her out of her stupor. Sydney looked at her quizzically through her glasses. 

Maggie shaked her head, smiling, her mind screeching into a halt, breaks pumping. What was she thinking?! She quickly mumbled something and ran away.

From that moment on though, she found herself fascinated with Sydney's exposed skin. She wouldn't say anything of course, she barely admitted it to herself. And besides, Sydney was engaged. To be married. To a man that will go through the same feelings like herself? longing to see what is underneath those covers.  
The though frustrated her, almost on the verge of anger.

But then Neshama happened, and Maggie didn't need to guess anymore. She couldn't hold herself - almost like a horny teenager (well, she definitely answered to the later definition) she pushed her right arm under Sydney's top and shirt, impatient with the desire to see how soft the rest of her body was, to find out what's hiding underneath all those covers...

When Sydney walked into the ICU, hesitating and worried, Maggie was too tired to try and control her reactions and emotions. Sydney's presence was like a warm blanket covering her from head to toe. It was then that she realized how much she, really, missed her. More than missed her. 

For months after her feisty mentor left Hope Zion, Maggie tried cataloging their... what was it, really? an affair? a relationship? was it a fling? to call it an affair or a fling felt like an insult, a degrading name for... whatever it was. It was a relationship, certainly, but they weren't a couple, not at all. Just a lot of conversations one fleeting kiss, and one night together which shook Maggie down to her core.  
But still, in her mind, despite knowing she was moved emotional beyond anything she felt with Joel, even with Gavin for goodness sake! even knowing that, she put that short affair as exactly that, an affair. Small box in her memory, never to opened and explored again.

But in walks Sydney, and not only is the box open, within 30 seconds Maggie is rolling around and wrapping herself with all her emotions again.

"Stay" she holds Sydney's hand, unwilling to part with her again so soon, not when she just got her back, not even for a blanket. 

Sydney's stares at her, deeply, and sits down next to the bed, still holding Maggie's hand softly.

After not too long of basking in Sydney's presence, Maggie's eyes start closing. She tries to fight it, breaking the silence in the room. "Don't leave, please".

"I be here when you wake up" Sydney answer softly, standing up and putting her palm on Maggie's face. "I promise. Close your eyes now".

And as sweet as the moment is, just as her eyes droop close, Maggie realizes something. Dr. Sydney Katz now has a very, very noticeable cleavage showing. She smiles and sinks into a deep sleep.


	3. And I do think about you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4X10 through the start of 5X19.  
Didn't they talk at all between the ICU scene at the end of 4X10 and their first meeting at the start of 5X19?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one turned out a lot longer than I thought.
> 
> Just a couple of things:  
1\. No Beta, so all mistakes are my own. I just shoot it out as it comes.
> 
> 2\. English is not my first language, so my apologies for any grammar / composition mistakes
> 
> 3\. The poem I'm referring to is "Pride" by Dahlia Rabvikovitch, translated by Hagit Grossman.
> 
> 4\. The song Sydney hears at the concert is "As a stone", by Full Trunk. It doesn't really match the timeline of the series (this song only came out 2 years ago. But you know, some artistic license and all...
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjWTzszLv_U

Dr. Sydney Katz was not, despite what others might think, oblivious to emotions around her. She was well aware of her patients, her colleagues - she just made the conscious decision to ignore any emotional baggage laid at her feet and just focus on the here and now, on what needs to be done, on facts and numbers. 

And the one person she absolutely could not ignore, at all, was Dr. Maggie Lin. 

Especially an injured Dr. Lin, laying in that huge bed in the ICU, connected to monitors, cords, tubes, all taped up. Laying there, looking at her all doe eyed, with nothing but honesty in her words, expressions and actions. 

It was indeed good to see her. As she walked into Hope Zion earlier Dr. Katz was all business, but her heart was beating twice as fast, knowing that while there is a chance they won't run into each (shift work being as it is), it is quite likely that Maggie and herself will cross paths. She steeled herself for it. As she walked into the ER, she tried pulling the tough Dr. Katz persona, all work and no play.

She wanted to run into Maggie, but certainly not while the later was stretched by, unconscious and unresponsive. 

The sight of her former student being rushed by sucker punched Sydney, and her reaction of "Maggie, oh my god!" was purely instinctual, as was her movement forward towards the stretcher, for all intents and purposes ready to pounce on Maggie with every ounce of medical knowledge in her disposal. 

She was, of course, held back by Dr. Miller. Was he aware of their shared history? did it really matter at that point?

In the time that passed since Sydney left Hope Zion to start a new chapter in her life in *******, she tried to put everything that happened behind her. Everything and everyone, including her brilliantly passionate former intern. Her solid rock during the turmoil of breaking off the engagement, slowly coming out of her shell, coming out - period. 

She even started dating, which led her to Dana. Dr. Dana Bloch, Israeli born but raised in Canada. Incredibly enough, they met at a meet & greet event for gay young professionals, ran by the local JCC. Sydney, desperate for companionship (though not necessarily a romantic one) decided to go in a spur of the moment kind of a decision. A conversation by the bar and the mutual realization they were both doctors led to a longer chat, and a dinner date the next evening. Throughout the dinner Sydney found her thoughts migrating towards another hospital, and quiet conversations with pointed, longing looks... but came back to her, to be honest, lovely companion. 

A dinner date that ended, shockingly, with Sydney accepting Dana's invitation for night cup in back her place. As the evening wore on, she was delighted (and quite surprised) to find herself attracted to the brunette sitting in front of her, regaling her with stories of the difficulties of moving back to Israel after having spent her teenage and university years in Canada. The culture change, and how different the medical system was to what she knew from Canada.

Their next date ended with Dana staying the night, and Sydney putting away a strange feeling of guilt.

It was during those conversations that Dana mentioned the Sackler school of medicine in Tel Aviv university. A small school of not more than 250 students each class, with an American or Canadian population of students. Dana knew they were looking to increase their staff and Sydney, despite not having actual class teaching experience, found herself intrigued not only by the idea of taking on this new challenge, but also trying on Israel for size. How would it feel, she wondered, to be at a place where keeping kosher was the norm and not the exception. Where being keeping her faith didn't require any special effort. Where the gay community seemed to flourish, despite the political powers aiming to shun it.

Dana pulled some strings, and it just happened to be that the head of the school was visiting NYC several weeks later. Sydney flew out to meet with him, and came back knowing the teaching position is hers. 

Dana prepared a special celebratory dinner that night. A dinner that ended with the plates being shoved aside and Sydney latching her lips onto Dana's neck, taking her right there on the dinner table. 

But that damn pang of guilt was still there.

She knew, of course, there was nothing to feel guilty about. But knowing and feeling are two different things. 

Dana flew out, and Sydney missed the hell out of her, to be honest. 

Ironically, she was talking to Dana just as she got the message from Adam Hart. Dana, used to Sydney having to hang up and run, finished with a quick 'I love you'. 

When Sydney heard was she needed to head, her stomach flipped. She hadn't seen any of her former colleagues since transferring out. Hadn't spoken to any of them. Even the one she really wanted - or not - to connect with.

And here she was now, taking care of Shelby, working with Charlie and Alex who was giving her weird looks (does _she_ know? of course she does, they're best friends). Feeling depleted, her heart longing to be up in the ICU, where she did end up spending every free moment.

When Maggie - oh god - crashed, she kind of expected herself to let go of everything and just sink into that awful lost feeling, but Maggie pulled through and Sydney found herself once again lurking around, slowly walking up to the OR window to watch Drs. Shahir and Sekara saving her former student.

Maggie was there too, watching. As Sydney approached the window she looked at her, down, and back at her, seeming to make some sort of a decision with herself.

"You really love her, don't you?"

Sydney looked her all, surprised. Was Alex building up to a "how could you leave her" or "She loves you just as much". Was she defending her best friend, fighting for her? 

The conversation didn't last though, and Sydney found herself staring at the window, grateful to not see anything beyond Maggie's lower body. Some things, she decided, should not be revealed. 

Her phone vibrated. 

"How's Maggie?" a message from Dana. She told her about their mutual past, a little. She Couldn't bring herself to really disclose what happened. Embarrassed at her lack of professionalism on one hand, and feeling like it was too precious of a connection to share. Even with Dana. But Dana did know they were close, and that Maggie supported her throughout the breakup from Herschel. And Sydney was honest enough to share how dear Maggie was to her. 

She texted back quickly, promising to call once she could, and move on, back to her other, only patient.

But she still sat in Maggie's room whenever she could, and it was during one of those visits that Maggie nearly died.

In the back of her mind she was aware to how unprofessional she was - her reactions to Maggie's crash were nearly hysterical. Gone was Dr. Katz, now it was just Sydney. Scared Sydney, not in control Sydney. As Dr. Reid drilled into Maggie's head and sutured her, Sydney could do nothing more than talk to Maggie. She talked about how they were all there for her former student, how much they cared. It was jibbrish, mostly. Just incoherent babbling meant to sustain a connection to the unconscious woman laying in the bed in front of her.

She didn't say any of the things she should have. Maybe because those things weren't front and center in her mind. Or present at all. Maybe because of everybody else in the room. Maybe because she worked so hard at suppressing them, even the possibility of Maggie's death wasn't enough to bring them out.

She knew Shelby and baby would be fine. Adam was now focused on his wife and child and Sydney was done. Surprisingly, Charlie approached her and offered her once again a position on staff, replacing one of his doctors who was taking an extended leave of absences to visit his family in India. When he offered to reinstate her privileges, she kind of thought he looked at her funny. But she had to be honest with him, sharing her coming move to Israel.

Charlie breathed out, seemed surprised by it. "Does Maggie know?" he asked pointedly. 

Sydney bristled against his tone, feeling it was in step with Alex's question as they were watching the operation. 

"First of all, _Dr. Lin_ and I aren't really in touch, and I don't need to report or get her approval to any step I want to take in my professional career. Second" her speech picked up, "this is about more than my career, so I don't think it's either yours or anybody else's issue whether I decide to share my future employment or not". 

Charlie just looked at her patiently, an understanding look in his eyes.

"Come cover Dr. Ricard's position for as long as you can. We're short on hands and your value even for a short while is unquestioned."

She agreed, and now she had 3 weeks in Hope Zion alongside _all_ her former friends. At least she was up in the ward. 

Sydney was done for the day. As she packed her bag, her phone vibrated. She picked it up as she started walking out. 

From Alex. "Maggie is awake, visitors are welcome, but please take it easy on her". Sydney sighed, pursing her lips. 

Time to face her.

It wasn't a very long visit, and seeing Maggie so tired and out of energy was startling, but one was quite clear was how Maggie was feeling. Not once during their tenure together, was it so obvious how important Sydney was for her. And now, Maggie was so clear, her emotions plain clothed, not hidden. Just out, in Sydney face. 

She couldn't bring herself to tell Maggie about Dana and Israel that evening. 

She came by the visit Maggie a couple of times till she was released, always quick visits with the same theme. Maggie being honest and open, Sydney skirting around issues. It was be reckless and ill advised, she argued (with herself) to cause someone with a head injury such distress. Best to wait till she's out of the hospital.

Maggie persists though, and eventually, during one late night visit just as she's about to leave home from a shift, she tells Maggie about her future move. 

It is a blade that plunges deep into her former students' heart, that much is clear. Sydney leaves soon after, aghast with Maggie's tear filled eyes. 'She's tired' is the explanation Sydney offers to herself.

She doesn't come to visit Maggie in her hospital room again, and several days after Maggie is cleared and off to recuperate at home. Sydney almost heaves a sigh of relief, thanks Hashem for Maggie's recovery, and focuses on her patients and tries to finish packing up her life. 

She talks to Dana when she gets home, an early morning call for her lover on the other side of the ocean and a late night one for the redhead. They talk again the next morning, as Sydney prepares to leave. It's a constant ritual that grounds Sydney and reminds her how she honestly misses her girlfriend, despite Maggie's presence in her life. She's once again reminded of Herschel, although god knows how different that situation was to this one. Sydney well and truely _likes_Dana, is attracted to her and wants to be with her, there's no question. it's just... she never allows herself to finish that though. Water under the bridge.__

When Maggie was released, she texted Sydney a bunch of times. Invitations to come and visit which Sydney declined, claiming work load, prior engagements... anything she could come up with. Dana's name does not come up. But Sydney is torn. She knows it's the right decision, she knows she needs the change. But, god, it's so hard. She can imagine Maggie's face crumbling, the casual 'oh wow' from the other side of the line not doing a lot to hide the disappointment.

Sydney called Dana right after, this time feeling guilt over something entirely different, although, why really.

She saw Maggie's name on the rotation a week before she's scheduled to fly out, on her last day. The timing couldn't be better, she'll have her star pupil take over Nicola treatment, which will remove at least one guilt ridden problem off her back. She knew Maggie will be the best cover for her, but really, what _was_ Maggie doing back so quickly?

Sydney cornered Dr. Hamza, demanding to know how he allowed Maggie back so soon. He patiently covered all treatment and vital aspects with her, and he relented, agreeing that perhaps he does know what's right...

But Maggie was so skinny. And looked at her so pointedly, almost angrily. In a way, it was almost like dealing with a petulant child. No matter what she offered back, Maggie wanted more. Sydney couldn't disregard it, she know what Maggie wanted. It was back to those days of Sydney being committed (ha!) to Herschel and Maggie being a constant reminder that in fact, she wanted anything _but_ to be committed to the young _yeshiva_ scholar. 

"Still here" Maggie retaliated when Sydney, again, tried to explain why she's moving. She was here, willing, almost able, offering herself up to Sydney. And Sydney, true to the same dance, pushed her back, insisting on the path she put herself on. It was clear Maggie was upset with her. She could sort of understand it, but the bottom line was that she had her teaching commission, Sackler school of Medicine in Tel Aviv University, and Dana. 

She had to push Maggie away, set her free.

"Because I'm moving to Israel to be with my girlfriend, and she's expecting me there next week".

And there it was, the final dagger.

Maggie didn't talk to her about anything but work till she she walked her out.

In what Sydney truely believed was their last moments together for a very long time, if not forever, Sydney relented, and honestly, just needed to get it off her chest. Maggie deserved as much.

"You're the only almost I ever think about" she admitted, and Maggie's relief at hearing it was palpable. "And I do think about you Maggie".

The kiss broke her. She couldn't say another word, just took her bag and left. One last look at Maggie as she exited the building, and her former lover was now history.

Only she wasn't.

Days later, when she realized she replayed that conversation, their last kiss and her admission of thinking of Maggie, she also realized she opened a crack in her shield. And the crack allowed... she was reminded of her of an old poem she once saw at the JCC, posted on a wall. 

Even rocks crack, I'm telling you,  
and not on account of age.  
For years they lie on their backs  
in the heat and the cold,  
so many years,  
it almost creates the illusion of calm.  
They don't move, so the cracks stay hidden.  
A kind of pride.  
Years pass over them as they wait.  
Whoever is going to shatter them  
hasn't come yet.  
And so the moss flourishes, the seaweed  
whips around,  
the sea bursts forth and rolls back --  
and still they seem motionless.  
Till a little seal comes to rub up against the rocks,  
comes and goes.  
And suddenly the rock has an open wound.  
I told you, when rocks crack, it comes as a surprise.  
All the more so, people

She was cracked.

She took her cracked soul along with her resolve and boarded the Air Canada direct to Tel Aviv. Dana was waiting for her at the arrivals hall, and honestly, Sydney was thrilled to see her, if only for the sense of order she brought back into her life.

She dared not recognize the fleeting thought in the back of her mind, as Dana kissed her. A comparison ought not to have made, yet did.

And so was the order of things. She settled into the pace of life in Tel Aviv, a bustling metropolitan. Her life revolved around the TAU campus, Lis Maternity Hospital adjacent to Sourasky medical center where she was able to once again use her punchline "obstetrics isn't for babies", earning her once again the title of ice queen. 

Dana and her settled into a partnership that filled her life with coffee shops, movies, and - perhaps the most important addition to her life - the Bat Kol Religious lesbian Organization. For the first time in her life, Sydney was able to not only openly share her life story, she found women who were _just like her_. Women who broke off an engagement when they realized their heart lay elsewhere. Women's who's religion was such a strong part of their being, and together they found a way to accept their sexuality along with a faith that struggled to include queer women in its' midst.

She longed to share her self discovery with Maggie.

As much as she tried sharing it with Dana, who was wonderful and loving an attentive and thought the world of Sydney, it took too much explaining and Sydney just couldn't bring herself to delve into those emotions again. 

And when they were intimate, Sydney was horrored to find out she needed to actively focus on her current partner, to stop her thought from going back to that room in Hope Zion.

Sydney Katz was officially losing it. Or at least felt like it.

She found herself praying for divine intervention. Asking her god to clear her mind of the past, wanting, really wanting, to have her new life work out. She loved her visits to Aroma cafe by the hospital, the sports center with its' 3 pools, the separate beach which allowed 3 women only days and for the first time she felt comfortable enough to sit on the beach in a bathing suite, marveling at the blue waters of the Mediterranean. So many moments of joy and calm she held on, desperately to reinforce it to herself.

Funnily enough, it was the student day in TAU that turned her around. It was a day sponsored by the university, combining food stands and food trucks, live shows and cultural activities, and Dana and some of her Sackler colleagues convinced her to join in on one evening of live bands. 

Cradling a cold (kosher!) beer, she softly swayed to the sounds playing, truely enjoying herself.

A new band came up, combining soft rock with an instrument she never heard before, an arabic oud. Some about its' unique sound touched a chord deep in her soul. That, and most likely, the beer.

"Slowly I'm facing all the things I left behind" the male singer started, his voice deep, soulful.  
"All, all I ever tried was just to find a way to ease my mind." Dana's arms wrapped around her midsection and Sydney leaned back, closing her eyes. Thinking of deep, black almond shaped eyes she couldn't get out of her mind. She too was just trying to find a way to ease her mind. 

"Cold hearted as a stone, Pulling tricks to play along..." her eyes filled with tears. Unexpected and painful, the longing to see Maggie was just too much to handle. Just as she was trying to, honestly, just get a grip on her raging emotions, she felt Dana's hands tighten and her chin resting on Sydney's shoulder.

'It's just the alcohol' she tried to reason with herself, knowing she was just coming up with excuses. 

She prayed. That's all she had left. She prayed for Hashem to bring peace into her heart, and help her settle. She focused on her work, her students, Bat Kol, and how deeply she cared about Dana. 

Her grandmother had a saying in _Yiddish_, the old East European language: "_Der Mentsch Tracht un Gott Lacht_; Men plans and god laughs.

To say she was surprised when her phone rang with a Rebecca's number on the screen, would be an understatement. Her sister was emotional, but plunged on, seemingly putting aside the fact they haven't spoken in months.  
"I'm pregnant, _baruch Hashem_". Sydney started congratulating her, but Becca stopped her short. "They found something, in my ultra sound."  
Pause. Not again. Sydney closed her eyes, and switched to Doctor mode, which she needed in full with when her sister delivered her next line.  
"It's cancer. And they can't operate because it already has spread."

Either god had a wicked sense of humor, or god just hung a huge sign pointing her in the direction where she needed to go. 

Her sister emailed her all the information she had, and several hours later Sydney emailed her back with specific instructions. Remove herself from Summerhill Memorial, check into Hope Zion, and don't speak to anyone but Dr. Maggie Lin. 

_If_ anybody has a chance to save her and her baby, she told Becca, it'll Maggie and her cancer study. __

_ _Her sister called her after receiving the email, worried and stressed. Crying. Sydney did the only thing she could think of._ _

_ _"I'll fly over, as soon as I can" she tells her sobbing sibling, "I'll make sure you're accepted into the study". Maggie and Alex won't turn her down. She won't let them. _ _

_ _Maggie. _ _

_ _The fastest way to get back home is wait for the direct El Al flight the next day. Which gives Maggie a full 24 hours to sort everything out, get a replacement for her classes and thank god for not taking shifts at Lis Hospital for a month._ _

_ _It left just one thing to sort out. _ _

_ _The conversation with Dana was heartbreaking, for both of them. Although she could have just talked about Rebecca and flying back to help her, Sydney decided to come clean. In a long, rambled speech she told her soon to be ex lover _all_ about Maggie and their shared history.  
And as painful as it was for her to tell and more painful for Dana to hear, she shared her struggles in the past couple of months. How she couldn't get Maggie out of her mind._ _

_ _It was the hurtful look in Dana's eyes that made her break down in tears. Crying, she told Dana how hard she tried to focus on the here and now, how much she adored her, their shared life together. _ _

_ _"Do you remember" she said to her ex, "that episode in the L Word (an obsession of Dana which Sydney found endearing), where they all learn of the affair between Bette and Tina, do you remember what they both say?"_ _

_ _Dana nodded, but Sydney plowed on, needing to drive home the point. _ _

_ _"That's how I feel Dana, and I'm so sorry. But I love Maggie, and I know that I am too going about all it wrong. And I know now", Dana started crying as well now. "I know that I've always been in love with Maggie, and I feel like the worst person ever because I'm doing this to you, but I can't, I have to to try". She was full out sobbing now, the worry for her sister's health and the stress of having just come out to Dana breaking her down._ _

_ _Dana left the house shortly after, moving to stay with a friend until after Sydney leaves. _ _

_ _Amazingly, within a couple of hours her entire life was packed into boxes and ready to be shipped to Canada. Everything else was in storage back home anyways, so Sydney just packed a carry on and rushed out, a taxi already waiting downstairs._ _

_ _She used her time on the long overnight flight to read as much as she could about Maggie and Alex's study, her sisters full stats and, when she couldn't focus anymore she just closed her eyes and for the first time in a very, very long time, allowed herself to fully immerse in thoughts of Maggie, letting her emotions finally run wild, memories rushing up and flooding her, now that all restraints were off._ _

_ _She knew there was a chance Maggie was involved with someone else. But something, deep in her heart, told her to keep faith. _ _

_ _It couldn't have just ended like that for both of them. It was deeper than just a hospital fling, she knew it._ _

_Maggie was her _besheret_, her intended one. _

_ _That thought gave her strength. She prayed to Hashem again for strength and resolve. God works indeed in mysterious ways, and god chose to bring Maggie back into her life. _ _

_ _Upon landing she got a text from Rebecca, informing her that she checked into the maternity ward in Hope Zion. Sydney took a taxi directly there, leaving her suitcase in the on call room. She was a bit surprised not to have run into anyone who knew her, but thanked her fortune for not having been delayed by such encounters. There would be time enough for that later. _ _

_ _She rushed to Rebecca's room, only stopping when she saw the first person standing there._ _

_ _Maggie._ _


End file.
